Sarah Michelle Gellar in The Mystery of the Missing Feet.
Dear Mr. Whittenhooper,
It has been sixteen months since you engaged me to solve the mystery of Sarah Michelle Gellar’s feet. After an exhaustive and exhausting investigation into the matter, I regret to inform you that I have been unable to determine why Mr. Joss Whedon was not obsessed with filming Ms. Gellar’s feet in the same way he was (and perhaps is) obsessed with filming Ms. Summer Glau’s feet.
You may recall my initial line of inquiry looked into the possibility that dancers’ feet, with their inevitable attendant callouses and bruising, might fascinate Mr. Whedon, since the infliction of pain upon his fans appears his top priority. Unfortunately, sir, the problem proved more of a conundrum than that.
I next surmised that there might be a problem with Ms. Gellar’s feet–or perhaps one foot–such that Mr. Whedon usually chose to protect it/them from exposure to the world at large, thereby saving Ms. Gellar any potential embarrassment. That notion seemed in line with what is known of Mr. Whedon’s character. But what could that defect be? And how to discover it?
Well sir, for nine months I surreptitiously observed the young lady, posing at various times as peripatetic pool man, paparazzi photographer and Prussian masseur. So diligently did I attempt to learn the truth and put your mind at ease that I was arrested as a stalker and left to languish behind bars for seven months. I regret, sir, that you did not see fit to return any of my calls during my incarceration. I do not now, nor did I ever believe Ismelda’s protestations you were on “safari” in Boca Raton the entire time.
Now that I am out of gaol I am writing to inform you I have failed in my mission and hereby resign from the case. In fact, I am quitting the detection business altogether. I have accepted an offer of work as Ms. Gellar’s full-time personal masseur, pool man and glamour photographer. Enclosed you will find a photo I took recently which includes Ms. Gellar’s feet.
I must say, sir, they, and the rest of Ms. Gellar, look damn fine to me.
Yours truly,
jlv
Toe-tal perfection.
Cool story! Answers are found, yet the mystery deepens.
sarah gellar is just plain hot. i love the pics of her feet like that one. Everything about her is sexy but I think her feet are the sexiest. her soles her ankles and her toes are equally sexy.